Saturday, March 28, 2009

My Daddy, I love him for Eternity

In the Sacred Grove in Palmyra, NY
My high school graduation
In Central Park, such a good picture
Seminary Graduation
The true side of my daddy, always goofing off and with such a great sense of humor


This last month has been stressful beyond belief. Things were finally picking up in school and things were meshing together until I talked to my mom last Tuesday about 2:00. She told me she was on the way to the hospital and that my dad had been hit as a pedestrian by a car. I immediately panicked. I imagined the worst that had happened and cried into Laura's shoulder for about twenty minutes. I got another call about an hour later from my mom. My dad was in bad shape. He had broken both the bones in his right shin, his right humorous, all the ribs on his left side and most the ribs on his right side, and had also broken the bone right below his temple on his head. The last injury was the one that gave him the most problems. He had severe damage to his brain stem which controls the drive to breathe and the drive to stay awake. My dad passed away on March 20 surrounded by his loving family.

This was a journal entry that I sent to my dad about two months ago, I made him cry. I want to write some special things about my dad. I have so many memories of going to work with my dad and how excited I was every chance that I got to work with him. He taught me the true meaning of working and a job well done. He would make sure that I was doing well and had tips to help me complete a job. He was always patient with me when I tried new things and wasn't always fast. I get along with my dad very well. Even when my mom and I fight, my dad can always come and talk to us and can talk to me in a way like no one else. He puts things into a perspective that I understand and brings me to a new light so that I can fully understand what he is saying. He has always been there for me, even through his ups and downs. My dad would come to my games in high school even though it would hurt him immensely to sit in the bleachers for so long. My dad is my comforter, ever since I was young I have gone to him when I was sad, hurt, sick, or just needed a hug and could curl up in his lap where he would rock in his big chair and rock me back and forth while patting me setting me in a rhythm that would usually end in me falling asleep curled up in his arms. Even though I am eighteen now and much bigger than I used to be, I can still curl up on his lap and lie on his chest while he rocks in his big chair and pats me to calm me down. His hugs always calm me down and have more comfort than anyone else. My dad has taught me the meaning of optimism. Even though he hurts a lot and has many health problems, I have never heard that man complain. He takes things in stride and has pulled through so many problems with a smile on his face. A good memory that links these two lessons together is when we found out that he had Poly cystic Kidney Disease. I remember him telling me nonchalantly and how panicked and scared I was. I went into my bedroom and laid on my bed and cried my eyes out. I was so scared that his kidneys would fail him one day and that would be the end. I cannot imagine my life without my dad, so that thought scared me to death. I finally got myself to stop crying enough and made my way upstairs to talk to him about it. I got to the top of the stairs and lost control again. I started to cry and he said, "oh that's no good, what's wrong honey?" I went over and he opened his arms and let me curl up in his lap, just like old times. I said that I was scared because I didn't want him hurting and I didn't know what to do or think about him having this problem. I was waiting for his kidneys to fail one day and I didn't like living in the fear that that created. He held me close and squeezed me tight and said, "You know what, sweetie, I'm scared too." He laughed and said that it came suddenly to him too. He told me that it was something that we just needed to accept and live with. There was nothing we could do about it, so we had to just live with it and not let it affect our lives. I was so awed that this man who had been told that his kidney days were numbered was telling ME that it was going to be okay. My dad has also taught me about the spiritual things in life. He has a subtle testimony and doesn't share it with the world like my mom does, so when it does come out it always catches me by surprise and fills my heart with warmth. When he taught the priesthood classes he would always review the lessons with me and tell me the stories he used and how he related the concepts with these stories just made sense to me. It was fascinating to me to listen to him. Another fond memory I have of my dad is his story telling. He would tell Shannon and I stories when we were little and I remember he would do voices and actions and would get so into the story. He told us Lord of the Rings and could do that Gollum voice, or the Smog the dragon cry so well that it would send shivers up my back and I could see my dad morph into the character just to tell the story. Even as I grew up, he would tell me new stories that he had in his head and what happened and how it all worked out and what it was about. Some of the stories I heard, I was amazed that my dad had come up with them. I would always bug him about writing and making sure that he was and he would tell me that he had a new story in mind and what it was about and all that jazz. My dad's imagination is one that extends out forever in all directions and I love it. My dad instilled in me the love to read and the ability to get lost in a book or in a story. He taught me what it was to read for enjoyment and to just absorb all there was when I read. This has helped me so much because when I had to read for school I had no problems with it. He is such an intelligent man and I can ask him any question and if he doesn't know the answer, he will find it. I could listen and talk to him for a lifetime. I remember countless times when I would be with him and we would get talking and I would learn so much just from talking to him, even if it was for a short period of time. I am so blessed to have the father that I do and have had the chance to learn so much from him. He is always there for me and I will never forget that. I could never thank him enough and I love him forever and for all eternity.

My dad was such an outstanding person who lived his life to the fullest and didn't hold anything back. He loved his family dearly and would do anything for us. My dad wrote an epic fantasy novel and loved what he did. He put his stories into something real.

He was my hero and my idol. My life will forever be changed without my daddy, but I know he is watching over me and that he loves me..

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Marissa, This is such a sweet tribute to your dad. I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you have written down so much about him. Your kids will really appreciate it, as will you when you are feeling lonely for him. He really was a great and humble man.